Why I Don't Have Wicker Laundry Baskets OR Why It's Important to Monitor Your Toddler's Teethbrushing Methods

So...Ezra has been doing a lot more things on his own lately (given his age, this is appropriate...) Some of these things, however, are big responsibilities. The big one, these days, is brushing his teeth on his own. I set everything up for him and he does it all on his own...well, mostly. He has one of these toothbrushes. It flashes for the amount of time you are supposed to brush your teeth. I tell him when the toothbrush is done flashing to let me know and I come in and give him a just-in-case once-over. He's sometimes a little frustrated by my butting in but I tell him that this is something you don't want to mess around with. While I'm sure he's doing a good job (and about half the time he does...the other half is more twisting the toothbrush around in his mouth absent-mindedly) this is something you don't want to mess around with. "After all, I don't want to have to take you to the dentist to drill out any cavity bugs, right?" It occurred to me as he skipped out of the bathroom that, although he's been warned of this danger many times, he really has no concept of what those little bugs are so I got on Google images and found this lovely photo. I figured a visual image may help him to better understand the importance of doing this job correctly. I think it did. We both sat there looking at it with disgusted grimaces. One of us nearly broke down in tears from the shear horror of the sight....I'll let you guess who. And before you think my tactics were too extreme or that I may be a bit of a micro-managing mama, let me be the first to tell you, there is a very real reason as to why I am this way regarding the brushing of teeth.

When I was a little girl, I brushed my teeth on my own....at least, I was given the responsibility not only to do that, but to model to my impressionable younger brother how to do it properly. I was nearly seven at the time, my brother was four. This should be a perfectly reasonable responsibility to bestow upon a seven-year old. At that time, my mother had a large, wicker laundry basket in our bathroom with a wicker lid on top. My sneaky little seven-year old self quickly discovered that if you rubbed your toothbrush vigourously enough on top of the basket, it made the same sound a brush should make when you brush your teeth. Weeks passed with my little brother and I cleaning the top of my mother's laundry basket, giggling snake-like all the while. My mother was none the wiser. I would love to go on and say that because of our deviousness, my brother and I ended up with a mouth full of cavities. Sadly, that was not the case. Somehow we were blessed with very strong teeth and, to this day, I have never had to have a cavity filled (my brother has maybe had one or two....? I do believe I have a small one in the back of my mouth, but it's fairly surface.) And, shock of all shocks...I have only been to the dentist 5 or 6 times in my entire life (one of those times was in Germany.) Anyway, I finally began to feel guilty about deceiving my mother and dragging my little brother down the path with me, so I decided one night that we should start brushing our teeth again. The price we had to pay was not in cavities...no...remember, we had been cleaning the top of a dirty laundry basket with our toothbrushes for weeks. My ignorant seven-year old self did not have the presence of mind to compute what something like that might taste like. Let me tell you, it was not good and because we couldn't tell my mom, we continued to use those disgusting toothbrushes for another week or so...have you thrown up a little in your mouth yet? I have. Somehow, we finally convinced our mother that we needed new toothbrushes and they were never used to clean the tops of any wicker laundry baskets, I can assure you. So...now you know why I'm so keen on making sure Ezra brushes his teeth the right way...and why I don't keep wicker laundry baskets in our bathrooms....

Before ending, I did want to share this one nugget of hilarity that came out of Ezra's cavity-less mouth the other day:

Me: Groan

Ezra: What's wrong, Mom?

Me: Oh, just feeling a little queasy...

Ezra: Why?

Me: Oh, sometimes when you have a baby in your belly, you feel a little queasy...you know, some people say that when you have a baby in your belly and you're VERY queasy, you might be having a girl baby...

Ezra: Hmm...probably because her long flowing hair is rubbing the inside of your tummy...

Me: using every ounce of strength to muscle back the guffawing reflex...hmmm...good hypothesis....