Stick? Pollen? Mouse? Monster? Mousetrain? Nothing?

Ezra: (coming out of his bedroom where he was playing with lots of little tiny legos) Ouch! I need to get this stick out of my ear.

Mandi: (attempting to suppress the panic quickly rising in her voice) What? You have a stick in your ear?

Ezra: Yeah

Mandi: Ok...let's look inside. (She retrieves the only flashlight she is aware of in her home...one that is shaped like a dinosaur given as a gift to Ezra by his Auntey Haley and Uncle Hogey. At this point, Michael, her husband, Ezra's father, is aware of the situation and looks on anxiously as she gazes down his ear canal.) Hmmmm....did you put something in your ear?

Ezra: I think so.

Mandi: Well, did you or not? I need to know the truth. You won't get in trouble if you did. (She plasters a fake smile on her face to reassure the boy.)

Ezra: Well, I think it's a piece of pollen.

Mandi: Pollen?

Ezra: Yeah, from a tree.

Mandi: Where did you get the pollen? Outside our home? At the zoo? (...as the boy had been there earlier; at this point, Michael is now gazing down his ear.)

Ezra: Yeah! At the zoo!

Michael: (getting down on the boy's level) Ezra did you put something in your ear? We need you to tell us the truth.

Ezra: (grabbing his father by the cheeks) Focus, Dad. I'm telling the truth.

Mandi: What did it look like? Was it round or square or flat?

Ezra: Round!

Mandi: What color was it?

Ezra: Yellow.

Michael: Was it fuzzy--

Ezra: Yeah! Fuzzy! I think it was like a tiny mouse or a monster or something.

Mandi: Ok. Ezra, there is not a tiny mouse or monster in your ear--

Ezra: No. That was just nonsense.

Mandi: (trying not to laugh and intrigued by the fact that never, in her life, until she had a child, has she ever had to attempt to suppress laughter and panic at the same time.) Show me what you did.

Ezra: (mimes picking something out of his hand with his fingers and puts it in his mouth)

Mandi: So you put something in your mouth?!

Ezra: Yeah! I put it in my mouth and swallowed it into my ear.

Mandi: Well, it doesn't really work that way. Did you do this (she mimes picking something out of her hand with her fingers and putting it in her mouth...) or this? (She mimes picking something out of her hand with her fingers and putting it in her ear.)

Ezra: I did this (he puts the imaginary object in his ear.)

Mandi: So you did put something in your ear.

Ezra: I think so. And it sounds like this: Chugga, chugga, woo, woo!!

Mandi: It sounds like a train?

Ezra: Yeah! I think there is a little mouse in a train in my ear. A mousetrain.

Mandi: Ezra, there is not a mousetrain in your ear.

Ezra: Yeah...there's nothing in my ear...

Mandi: Listen. We need to know the truth because if you really put something down into your ear, we need to take you to the doctor to get it out.

Ezra: (with joyful excitement) Yeah! I need to go to the doctor!

Mandi: (perplexed) You want to go to the doctor? Because you have something in your ear?

Ezra: Yeah!

Mandi: But you just said there wasn't anything in your ear....

Ezra: Well....now there is...

Mandi: But I thought you wanted to watch a show. (The boy is only allowed limited television viewing throughout his day.) If there's something in your ear, we're going to the doctor and you won't get to watch a show.

Ezra: Hmmm....yeah. There's nothing in my ear...

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Just in case you're wondering: we still don't know if there's anything down there. I don't think I'm ready to fork over a hundred bucks for a doctor's visit...especially if all I have to go on is the above information.... He seems to be in no pain...but...we'll keep you posted...